Here's part of his post and my commentary in red.
So with all due respect to Jeff Foxworthy, who Gil also spoofed, here's @marksofla's "You might be post proto-Orthodox if...."
1. You believe Da'as Torah is the ultimate authority for everything. Absolutely no one does, I believe. I never heard of a gadol being questioned on the best brand for a clothes dryer.
2. You believe that the latest sefer published by your Rebbe is equal in importance to Shas, SA, etc. No, I believe it to have *more* importance than Shas etc. Seriously?
3. You find Rishonim on Tanach distorts authentic Jewish hashkafa and halacha, and think the study of tanach is best avoided. This is not the reason Tanach is avoided. There are other, no longer valid, reasons.
4. You make no distinction between chumrot and halacha and are binding. True. Amei Ha'aretz.
5. You demand the complete separation of men and women in all religious and social settings. Not a bad idea, usually.
6. You support your own Rebbe and his Rebbe, no one else. You support your sports team and no one else. Agreed, completely childish. No one believes this to be a matter of hashkafah.
7. You think a Rabbis has more authority than scientists and doctors -even in their own fields. When it pertains to halachah lema'aseh, usually yes.
8. You crave sole control of all conversions, marriages, and divorces. Every Chareidi I know craves this. (Yeah, I get the joke.)
9. You say anything your Rebbe did is a legitimate and binding custom that must be done by everyone forevermore. Very few believe this on everything.
10. You believe that dialogue and conversation is the devil's tool and forbidden under all circumstances. It is. :) Do you believe that debating with Christians is a good idea?
11. You think even a homosexual orientation counts as toevah. Pretty close.
12. You think its perfectly fine to ostracize people, deny them synagogue honors, or keep your kids away from their kids, based on clothing, hat size, and the like. Hey, I LOVE exclusivity.
13. You think kolel only is the one true derech (except for women). Being a Rosh Yeshiva is another possible derech as well.
Did I leave anything off this list? Its perfect.
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